how i coped with problems...
often times, in the past years, i often resolve to self-mutilation whenever i feel down, or whenever i feel i can't take it anymore... it usually makes me feel lighter, thinking that i still could take in pain..
when i was in highschool, i admit i resorted slashing my wrists while enslaving myself to hard swimming workouts.. i was sooo engrossed in seeing blood come out from my skin, but though i felt i was brave in doing such act, i was a coward. slashing my wrists was a suicidal attempt, yet i couldn't do it. i could not go forth and kill myself.
during college, drinking beer and joining in a fraternity/sorority seemed much "cooler" for me. there was a time that i was so depressed, i joined a fraternity. to feel the pain of being spanked with a paddle and belted on the back seemed very delicious to me. i also joined the rotc officership training to stress myself out. though i was disappointed a bit because of the lax treatment we were given.. it was the time when hazing in rotc was in a really big controversy, so the senior officers where cautious. =( drinking to get drunk was also a fad. i always came home late and drunk. but they never noticed.
but now... i still am in college.. but i have matured. i feel that i have matured. i face problems head on.. i weight in the pros and cons and use them as factors to my decisions. writing songs, poems, and letters helps me release tension, as well as drawing and painting. well, there are times when i still resort to self-mutilation. like having my tongue pierced. but, i also found a selfless alternative. donating blood. the pain is there. but it gives me a lighter feeling, knowing that what i'm doing is for a good cause. and there are free snacks as a bonus! hahaha!!
sometimes i wish i was a little kid again. the only problems i had were assignments (which could immediately be solved when mom's there), what candy i should buy, what shoe and sock i should wear to school...well, you get the drift.. being a kid has lesser problems. i mean, there are a lot of problems when you're a kid, but the weight of the problems are lighter.
as they say, it is a cycle.. i just wish that as i grow older, the problems that comes keeps getting lighter...
often times, in the past years, i often resolve to self-mutilation whenever i feel down, or whenever i feel i can't take it anymore... it usually makes me feel lighter, thinking that i still could take in pain..
when i was in highschool, i admit i resorted slashing my wrists while enslaving myself to hard swimming workouts.. i was sooo engrossed in seeing blood come out from my skin, but though i felt i was brave in doing such act, i was a coward. slashing my wrists was a suicidal attempt, yet i couldn't do it. i could not go forth and kill myself.
during college, drinking beer and joining in a fraternity/sorority seemed much "cooler" for me. there was a time that i was so depressed, i joined a fraternity. to feel the pain of being spanked with a paddle and belted on the back seemed very delicious to me. i also joined the rotc officership training to stress myself out. though i was disappointed a bit because of the lax treatment we were given.. it was the time when hazing in rotc was in a really big controversy, so the senior officers where cautious. =( drinking to get drunk was also a fad. i always came home late and drunk. but they never noticed.
but now... i still am in college.. but i have matured. i feel that i have matured. i face problems head on.. i weight in the pros and cons and use them as factors to my decisions. writing songs, poems, and letters helps me release tension, as well as drawing and painting. well, there are times when i still resort to self-mutilation. like having my tongue pierced. but, i also found a selfless alternative. donating blood. the pain is there. but it gives me a lighter feeling, knowing that what i'm doing is for a good cause. and there are free snacks as a bonus! hahaha!!
sometimes i wish i was a little kid again. the only problems i had were assignments (which could immediately be solved when mom's there), what candy i should buy, what shoe and sock i should wear to school...well, you get the drift.. being a kid has lesser problems. i mean, there are a lot of problems when you're a kid, but the weight of the problems are lighter.
as they say, it is a cycle.. i just wish that as i grow older, the problems that comes keeps getting lighter...
posted by katwinamawie at 6:21 AM
1 Comments:
mwahahha.. daw madalum ghid na di ya haw?
wakekek
labay lng aswang ah
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